Everyone has a “button” that’s pressed when something is getting on our nerves or when we’re at the end of our rope.

If you’re a yeller and you’re trying to stop yelling, sometimes you can catch yourself before you yell. When that happens, it’s a good time to notice your button. It’s something you can stop and think about for a moment. It helps you calm down.

Here’s what that moment can look like.

I’m about to yell. My button’s being pushed. Where do I feel the button? What does it feel like?

Simply taking that moment to feel what’s going on in your body can help you get on another path, to make a choice that does not involve yelling.

People feel the button differently, but there are some patterns I’ve noticed. Here are some examples:

Some people feel like they have been punched in the stomach, so their back is hunched. They feel tense in their neck, jaw and chest, like it’s hard to breathe. Sometimes they feel tense in their butt too. Some people also feel heat, like steam is coming out of their ears.

The important thing to remember in the moment is that you’re responsible for your own button. It’s not someone else’s job to un-press your button. And whoever is pushing your button isn’t doing it on purpose — you’ve probably had that button for a long time.

So now you’re standing there noticing your button. What’s next? You could say it out loud:

“My chest feels heavy like it’s hard to breathe, and my jaw is tense.”

Then take a break, stand up straight, take some deep breaths and loosen your jaw. Hopefully, this time, you don’t yell.

Congratulations. You’re one step closer to noticing and owning your buttons and being the person you want to be.

What does it feel like when someone pushes your buttons?

I’m available to speak with your group. Contact me.